Who am I kidding?

Am I a real blogger? I dunno. I manage to pull off five posts a week by the skin of my teeth. Who reads this crap does this entertain? Thank you Cab-Merlot for the unexpected sassiness. Those of you wondering if I'm writing this at 6:00AM while five sheets to the wind...sorry to disappoint. That was Sunday. And thank God for spell-check.

I Wore Yoga Panties: This is justified justification. Does that make any sense? Don't worry.  I know you don't care. Neither does Yoga Panties. (Whitney likes being called Yoga Panties. She told me herself.) Anyone else bothered by the word 'panties?' Thanks Christian Grey. Holy crap I should erase all of this shit and start from scratch. But then you probably wouldn't enjoy it as much. Whitney teased me with a Food and Wine quality picture of her cocktail. I replied with a sloppy and blurry picture. Fail. (As I reward myself with another sip of Cab).

Yoga Pants: 1. Northern Belle: 0.

I started to make a Confessions post, but realized I didn't have anything bad to confess. Other than I am drunk. Is there a shame in this? I think not. That may have been a first confession. Yes. Moving on. 

I've been plenty entertaining to my friend Rachel over at Postal Postcards from Rachel tonight:

Who says shit like that? I mean, really?

Did you know Rachel's giving away a Clarisonic on her blog? My pores are as porous as...why even finish that? But seriously, I'm shamelessly plugging this in so that I can get 10 more entries. Rafflecopter, please pick me. I think this post is shame-worthy enough to make me the winner. Confession number two.

How do people know when they're drunk? Besides the cocky feeling voice inside telling them they should teach all those around the Gangnam Style or Harlem Shake dance? (For a person having two left feet, that's pretty cocky). I can tell you: my nose goes numb. Yep. That's my drunkometer. (Confession number 3). For those wondering, my sober husband confirmed it. (It feels cold when it's numb, apparently. I don't make up these shitty rules.). This post is getting more awkward by the minute. That calls for more wine.

You only wish you looked this hot all week.

I hope this all is making you thirsty on this Winesday. I will probably be back for more wine Winesday evening.

Also, have you taken a look at your Bloglovin account? Apparently, I have 1,700+ blogs to read so that I am in good standing with the blogging world again. You wanna know what I think, Bloglovin?  #$%^%&^%^! That's what.

If I still have your attention, God bless ya with a glass of merlot...or Manischewitz. If you don't know what Manischewitz is, you're neither Jewish nor grew up in a Dominican household. I think it's a good thing I was never an altar server. Did you know they have to finish off all the consecrated wine at the end of Mass? Those kids are the shit.

Linking up my drunken ramblings with the lovely Catalyn and Shanna.

   

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Before I let you go, here's one of my sponsors: Sarah Elizabeth from Pearls and Curls.

Sara Elizabeth hosts Saturday Instagram Recap link-up. It's a fun way to post your Instagram pictures from the week during the weekend. You can find this gem on Twitter and on Instagram.

Confessions and a Sponsor Spotlight

It's the time again!

I confess...I have selective hearing.  There are so many times I don't hear something B has told me.  But put me in front of a classroom of teenagers and I will single-handedly catch every one who is sneaking candy in their mouths...with my back turned to them.

I confess... I double dip.  I'd think twice about serving hummus or spinach dip around me. (Note to self: now no one will ever invite you over for parties). Is it still bad if I turn the chip around to where my mouth hasn't touched it?

I confess...We recently went out for sushi and I parked like an a-hole...knowing full well the place gets busy after we got there. I didn't even bother to fix my parking job. I may have even been proud of myself.

I confess...I can't stop texting while driving, but I'll yell at my husband for doing it.

I confess...I ran out of deodorant while in Florida (thank God it happened AFTER my blate). I  swiped to see if I could wait to be back home before I bought it. PS: Dove's deodorants stink. No pun intended.

I confess...I am going through some serious Whitney and Rachel withdrawal after our blate. Ladies, keep the text messages coming :)  I seriously love both of them!

I confess...this post is taking longer and longer because of my texting with Rachel. People, she's a hoot!

And now, I'd like to introduce to you one of my fabulous sponsors, Nadine at Back East Blonde.

After college in California, she got real bold. A little too bold, perhaps. She packed up all of her belongings in the trunk of her Honda Accord (which she still drives) and drove back east.

She arrived on the East Coast without a job and a plan but somehow, over the last 3 years she made a life there. That takes some major cojones, and for that I applaud her.

Nadine will give you her opinions, share clips of her personal life, way too many not enough pictures of her gorgeous Golden Retriever puppy, and she'll make you laugh.  Also, she was a sorority girl in college. She had me at hello. One of her recent posts was 10 People Who are Cooler than Me. She's a riot.  I promise you'll love her.

She introduced me to the Girl Scout cookie locator. My jeans hate me already.

You can find her Twitter littering more cute pictures of her dog, Archie, and on Facebook. Seriously, isn't Archie just the cutest?!  Go check him Nadine out!

Also linking up with: Random Wednesday

P.S. Don't forget to enter Cara's $200 gift card giveaway!

Confessions

 

I confess...I walked my dogs twice this week without a poop bag. Don't worry. They only pooped on the lawns of the houses whose dogs wander the neighborhood for hours because their owners are irresponsible.  I know.  I'm a horrible person, but karma is a B.

I confess...my post from Friday was a very cathartic one. My message came across loud and clear by its intended recipient...despite the fact that she tried to hide her IP address through www.hidemyass.com. She returned to read all of your lovely comments about 20 times. People, I can't make this crap up. (P.S. It didn't work, dumb ass)

I confess...I am loving the new blog designs I've installed recently: Back to Bliss and Life Love & Butterflies.  Check out these sweet ladies.  I promise you'll love them.

I confess...although I miss my husband when he's away, I like being able to eat what I want when he's gone. Last night I had clams in a garlic sauce over whole grain spaghetti. (FYI: Progresso's canned version tastes like rancid cardboard...just like the rest of their soups).  Next time I will make my clams and white sauce from scratch.

I confess...I hardly ever floss. That's probably why my gums hurt. Now I'm gonna get the wrath of Tooth n Nails on my behind (she's a dental hygienist).  Don't worry...I have a dental cleaning appt in two weeks!

I confess...I make fun of my husband for watching nerdy shows, but I actually enjoyed learning that all commercial airplanes pump cold AC between the panes of the windows. Otherwise you would get burned!

I confess...my last confession probably made me more of a nerd than my husband.

I confess...I am beyond school-girl giddy to have a blate this weekend with Postcards from Rachel and her two adorable pups.

I confess...I should have gotten off my computer about 30 minutes ago, but it's not often that I get to chat with Catalyn during work hours.  Friend, enjoy your well-deserved snow day.

What are your confessions?  Link up with Confessions of a Northern Belle.

Also linking up with: Because Shanna Said So

Confessions

Man, it's been a while since I've done a Confessions post with my homegirl Catalyn.  Let's get started.

I confess...I should not have enjoyed this video as much as I did.  On second thought, she was on the Ellen Show yesterday and got like $400 of hair tools and products for her plight.  I feel a trend coming...

I confess...my husband and I went on a date night once and we brought our own "drinks" in with us.  Our large movie theater Diet Cokes were the mixers.  We're such rebels.
I confess...I was relieved my husband brought home Chinese take-out for dinner last night.  I was in no mood to cook.
I confess...I received my first troll comment yesterday, and I honestly just laughed at them.
I confess...I used to write these confessions out in advance but recently I've been slacking.  This is all I have.


For all the newbies around here...this is how I named my blog.  I put names in a hat and drew one out.
In all seriousness, I underwent a lot of different names for my blog(s).  I originally started on Wordpress and had two blogs--one for recipes and one for crafts: Northern Belle Concoctions and Northern Belle Creations, respectively.  I wasn't blogging consistently, and traveling was seriously putting a damper on what I could craft or cook for them.  I switched to Blogger and dropped the concoctions/creations from the URLs and became Northern Belle Diaries.

Why Northern Belle?  Because I'm originally from New York City (whoop, whoop!).  I moved to the South less than a year ago and was fascinated by the romantic notion of Southern Belles.  Much to my chagrin, I haven't met many.  My friend Catalyn actually helped me pick my name.  Who knew that only a few months later I would be helping her rename her blog too?
This has been a really Random post.  It only makes sense that I also link up with Shanna for Random Wednesdays.
If you made it through all of this in one piece, you deserve a gold medal cookie.  You deserve a cookie.

Confessions...

I confess...I was a bad bloggy friend and didn't do Confessions last week.  I sorry.

I confess...I have a splitting headache today and I only had one glass of Pinot Noir last night.

What's wrong with me?

I confess...I had a dream about applying for a job at an Apple store just to get a discount on a MacBook.  

(Apple employees: hook a sistah up?)

I confess...I had enough and tattled on my irresponsible neighbor by calling the Animal Control at the Sheriff's office. Her dogs were constantly roaming the neighborhood...peeing and pooping in my yard...and worst of all, running circles around me and my [leashed] dogs on our walks. Argh!

I confess...when said neighbor got belligerent and loud with the sheriff, I wish she were arrested.

I confess...I had my good friend Kelsey guest post on a day that I didn't feel like blogging.  I knew I wouldn't get enough sleep last night to form coherent sentences. (Keeping it real!)

I confess...I had a kick out of surprising my husband last night with this:

His birthday's not for almost 2 weeks, but his employees and I got a little surprise shindig for him last night (hence the laziness today).

That's all I have today, friends!

Please visit my good friend at Think Happy Thoughts!  Link up your Confessions and help her decide on her new blog name!

Also linking up with Shanna

Confessions

I confess...I may or may not have consumed a bottle of wine all to myself last night.

I confess...had I written this post last night (as I was tempted to), you would have gotten a CRAP LOAD of drama from me.  Thank goodness for a good night's sleep and for once not acting on impulse.

I confess...I have crap going on that I can't divulge on here (sorry guys) but if I did, well folks I'd get a Golden Globe for Best Drama.  That or be a hit on Lifetime.  Or a telenovela on Univision.

I confess...designing blogs is a little harder than I thought it would be.  Hopefully, once I get this current one out from under my belt it will get easier.

I confess...my last confession may or may not have been a shameless plug for someone to hire me.  Just sayin'.  (Stay tuned next week for Designer's Week! Yay!)

I confess...I was amazed and appalled at how horny my little 8 month old Maltese got while in heat.  I actually contemplated turning an eye so that my dogs would get "stuck."  I was so tired of separating them.  Chip is neutered but you wouldn't be able to tell by the amount of humping going on between them.  The second she's all better, she's getting her lady parts removed!

Stay tuned for a four-week mini series titled "Letters to My Former Single Self."  I will be a link  up party, so be prepared for some secrets to be divulged (nice and clean or daring and dirrrrrttaaayyyyyyyy) starting NEXT Thursday, January 24, 2012.  It should be GOOD!

Here is the button if you'd like to display it on your blogs.  Don't miss this!

<a href="http://northernbellediaries.com/"><img border="0" src="http://i1276.photobucket.com/albums/y469/NBelleCreations/letters_zps0160f7ca.png" width="200"/></a>

You mean you're not like this with your dog?

I confess...I love my dog like I would my firstborn child. Really, it's healthy.  I assure you.

I've documented this puppy's life so well that he has more milestones than I do on Facebook.  Haha.  I kid (OK, maybe not).

I will leave the story of what led up to getting a dog to my husband (future guest post, hint hint).  All my childhood I wanted nothing more than to have a dog.  We lived on the 6th floor of an apartment building in NYC, so this was out of the question until I was out on my own.  25 freaking years I had to wait.

When I read on Craigslist (yes, because my broke ass couldn't even afford an adoption fee at the local shelter) that there was a chocolate Maltese up for adoption I was intrigued.  Maltese are white so this brown one must have been a designer pup, right?  Like getting Louis Vuitton for a steal? $50? I was beside myself.  That meant I still had money "leftover" for a vet visit and all the puppy supplies we needed!  I didn't care that he was 13 weeks old.  He could have been 60 weeks old and I would have been over the moon!

The lady even sent me pics of his parents because they were up for adoption, too.  Her neighbors foreclosed and could not take "puppy's" parents with them.  Little did the lady know that she was introducing a pregnant dog to her household with 4 other dogs.  She had 11 dogs when the puppies were born so she had to do something fast.

Enter: "Puppy" with his two parents.  

Left to right: dad, "puppy," and mom

Seriously, how could I pass him up? I couldn't believe he was the LAST of his litter.  I got my own little discount puppy like Jenny from Marley.  I rushed from work and drove 2 hours to pick up my treasure.

I sang "Hush little baby don't say a word" the whole ride.

And held him as he was crying the whole ride home.  The lady told me her daughter tried to sabotage the adoption the night before by giving "Puppy" a haircut.  I think her daughter's name was Edward Scissorhands.  I loved him even more.

I wanted a "chocolate" name for my puppy, and we settled on Chip.  My little chocolate Chip.  

Ripped up tissues?  Check.  Ripped up paper towels?  Check.  Ripped up teacher training homework?  Check check.  Oh yes, dogs really do eat your homework but when you're an adult you have to do it all over again.

First victims: my favorite teacher shoes and comfy flip flops.  Extra kisses for Chip.

Who loves her dog enough to take glamour shots of him?  This gurl right here.

Chip at Fells Point, MD.  photo credits: Evolution Image

Chip was just groomed yesterday for the first time (professionally).  I am the facetious dog mother who even e-mails the dog groomer what I want him to look like.  (FYI, in the collage above, yours truly groomed him.)  I wanted him to look like what he did as a 6 month puppy.  In other words, after his hair grew back in from Edward Scissorhands.

I loooooooooove my baby boy.  Chip.  Chippy.  Chippus Maximus.  Sir Reginald Chippus Maximus.

My pride and joy.

Am I alone in this obsession?


Linking up with:

        

Confessions v.2 issue 5

Welcome back lovelies.  It has been a couple of busy days for me in blog land.  I am participating in  a couple of giveaways and have a few more lined up...so excited for you all! Spreading Christmas Cheer runs through THIS FRIDAY.  Another awesome one with about 17 months of ad space can be found here.

Last week, I let my dear husband take over the reins and guest post for my weekly Confessions ritual with Mrs. Bear.  If all of a sudden you start finding significant others guest posting on their lady's blog, take note that THIS HERE genius began that trend!

 I confess...that I have been holding on to a nasty, NASTY grudge on another blogger and I have to let this go! Before you go all ballistic on me and accuse me of "bullying," take note that, no, I will not reveal the identity.  But I will say the blog has blossomed and  kudos to her.  I am happy for her success, I truly am.  However, she cheated on a past giveaway of mine by creating a private Twitter account for the sole purpose of "tweeting" about the giveaway to gain fake entries.  Yeah. She was tweeting to a black hole about the giveaway.  Every. Fucking. Day.  Fucking  pissed me off.  So, instead of leaving it alone, I went and pored over all her actions on blog land that week.  (Yes, I need help. Yes, I need a life...I am well aware!) She joined every link party I came across...and not ONCE  gave credit to the link parties she joined by form of a link or a button.  It really makes me wonder about the authenticity of her success due to her dishonesty.  If said blogger reads this, I have nothing more to say to you.  I guess the moral of the story is, your actions are louder than your words...even more so when you leave a paper trail.  Live and let live, right?

That feels better.

 I confess...I made a complete and total ass of myself last Saturday while out dancing with my man. Read about it here and laugh.

 I confess...that I have an unhealthy obsession with exclamation points!!!  I even argue with Siri when she can't understand that I'm dictating exclamation points!!! Instead I get this:

WTF is a cystolic mission point?

 I confess...I overuse the term "LOL" in my text messages.  It's a sickness.

 I confess...my house has been a mess lately.  This ee-card sums up my sentiments:

Finally,  I confess...I am in love with this Shelf on the Elf craze.  I'm a kid and prankster at heart.  My friend explained that it's a fun way for parents to teach good behavior to kids.  For kids, it's an elf sent to spy for Santa, all while doing sneaky tricks before returning to the North pole.  I love it and definitely will join in on this craze when we have kids of our own.  I may or may not buy one regardless of the fact that we don't have kids yet!  (I'm sure the hubs would LOVE that.  And by love, I mean hate.) Below are some elves and their shenanigans:

Sources: Facebook and tumblr.

Of course, after the TP-ing "Cartlyn the elf on the shelf" found out he is a celebrity, he did something else to promote his new found fame.  Little bugger.

Those are my confessions!  What are yours?

Also linking up with (see?...it ain't hard):    

Confessions: Special Edition

Happy hump day!

After a mini-poll on social media, I got enough responses to go ahead and have my  hubby GUEST POST! The following confessions are definitely a roast of me (and I wouldn't have it any other way)!  Enjoy!

Before undertaking this exercise, I thought blogging was a fairly  nerdy exercise worthy of daily mocking.  After a thorough review and reconsideration, I feel exactly the same way.  So, in honor of my wife, I have chosen to style this, my guest post, in a confessional format.

I feel this will be the easiest way for me to:
1) Avoid rambling paragraphs by mocking my wife in short, to the point sentences
2) Devote the majority of my focus to watching football, and
3) Avoid the loss of vision that will inevitably come from typing on this ridiculously small computer.

So...

In the name of the...

Wait, that’s not how blog confessions start, is it?  Is there a higher authority to which blog confessions should be addressed?  Surely, if there were a higher blogging authority, it would involve a guy, a studio apartment, large amounts of ramen noodles, and the ability to multi-task hearing confessions in between riveting levels of multi-player World of Warcraft tournaments.

But, I digress...

I confess, that I have to change the  “secret questions” on our online banking website because all of the answers can be gleaned in 5 seconds of reading my wife’s blog.

I confess, that we have  no money  in our bank account, so there will be no need for the above.

I confess, that I am  not cutting my toenails any more.  It’s ridiculous how they just keep growing.  I’m waiting until my wife becomes so tired of being  slashed in her sleep that she cuts them for me.

[via]

I confess, that I just  cut my own leg with my long toenails.  I guess I’m going to have to take back the above.  Give me a minute here.

I confess, that I am already bored of this, and I can’t understand  how my wife can stay entertained doing this for 9 hours a day.

I confess, that the previous confession was a  lie.  My wife spends way more than 9 hours a day blogging.  Well, part of it was a lie.  I am really bored of this.  I’m going to eat now.

All GIFs via

I hope this has been as rewarding for you as it has been for me.  I’m really grateful that my wife has given me the chance to  “guest post,” and I wish all of you “interweb people” a relaxing Wednesday.

 -B                     .

Confessions v2 issue 3

I confess...my house is a dis-as-ter.  My house is never so much dirty as it is cluttered. I don't mind the dusting, vacuuming, mopping, or scrubbing.  It's organizing and tidying up that gets me in a tizzy.

 I despise loathe un-cluttering my house with a passion.  It's a sickness, really.  

I confess...I am STILL wearing my stretchy velour sweats from Thanksgiving because my dryer shrunk my clothes.  Zip it.  It was the dryer!

I confess...I found it endearing when Daisy would not rest until she was sleeping in my lap on our 31-hour round trip over Thanksgiving. Of those 31 hours, I drove 29 hours (and I liked it).

Notice my clothes pre-shrinking!

I confess...I've been scolded by my DH for having his picture up on my blog...for the fifth time.  This means a new header is in the works.  Did you hear that, B?

I confess...I am the WORST pancake maker ever.  They are usually burnt on one side.

I confess...I serve my DH his pancakes burnt-side down!!!

That's all this week!